(I Don’t Mind You Cryin’ in Your Beer But) Don’t Go Cryin’ in Mine

You been nursin’ that same beer all night long
And I can’t seem to comprehend
How I’ve never seen your face in here before
But you’re actin’ like my oldest friend
My ears are burnin’ and my stomach’s churnin’
And you just crossed over the line
I don’t mind you cryin’ in your beer
But don’t go cryin’ in mine

Y’know, this beer cost me two dollars. It don’t need no more water!

Your wife don’t understand you
And your girlfriend had an affair
You stepped in somethin’ with your brand new boots
And you think you’re prob’ly losin’ your hair
If you hate that dead-end job so much
Why don’t you just go and resign?
I don’t mind if you cry in your beer
But you better stop cryin’ in mine

When’s the last time you took a bath, brother?

It don’t matter that your license plate expired last May
Cause you can’t seem to locate your keys anyway
You got yourself stranded in a world where you don’t belong

Quit showin’ me that big tear in your pants
And the place where you skinned your knee
Why don’t you move down the bar just a little?
Everybody’s gonna think you’re with me
There’s some mighty pretty ladies steppin’ in tonite
And they might be into to makin’ some time.
I don’t care if you cry in your beer
But don't EVEN think about it!

[instrumental interlude]

Hey buddy, is that your car alarm goin’ off?

Your mother-in-law tried to bite your dog
That’s the third time you told me tonight
There’s a big book of matches layin’ right over there
So you better stop bummin’ a light
Yeah, I know the pay-phone took your last nickle
And I ain’t gonna loan you a dime
I don’t mind you cryin’ in your beer
Just don’t keep cryin’ in mine

No, I don’t want to see a picture of your truck!

You’re blamin’ all your trouble on your friends and your wife
You prob’ly never been right once in your life
So how can you complain that anybody’s ever done you wrong?

That place on your neck looks like it’s gettin’ bigger
Your hands are all covered with tar
Your butt-crack’s hangin’ out about eight inches
You’re the saddest thing I ever saw
Oh, thank you for the offer to drive you home
But I think I’m gonna have to decline.
I don’t mind you cryin’ in your beer
But don’t go cryin’ in mine

Get away from me, man!
What exactly DID you step in?
Never mind, I don’t wanna know!
How the hell did you get in here dressed like that, anyway?
Don’t this place have a bouncer?
Hey! Come back here with my tip money!

ⓒ Dale McFarland